Strip It Off
by angie9281
Summary: ONE SHOT STORY-A certain viking finds himself in a awkward situation thanks to some egging on by Pam. as well to keep his ego intact. Not one to shy away from a one time only money making experiment, Eric decides to go along with it, with unexpected results.


Another day, another drunken mess carted out of the bar and quickly glamoured. It was the same old crap, just a different day. And not that it didn't amuse him watching the drunk humans make fools of themselves-it really did, even after all these years-but it was getting to the point where he and Pam, as owners of Fangtasia had wanted to try something new, a little spicier. Not that he minded being the center of attention but he did have some brief concerns about what the wife would say should she happen by the bar this evening. It wasn't like it was going to be a full on strip show-the bar was not zoned for such a thing, after all-but as good as business was, he and Pam had concurred that perhaps it was time to try something different, more daring. Having already taken her turn on the dais, tempting the fang bangers with what they were certainly not worthy of, Pam had savored being a tease to both the men and the women. And as she threw a robe over her leather corset and barely there mini skirt, she walked to the office, the clicking of her black leather pumps barely audible to even her, what with the lingering cat calls she heard in her wake. As she left the stage, she had seen wads of bills being thrown onto the stage and Ginger had made quick work to collect them as Willa tended the bar, having come into her own and yet refusing to take part in the events taking place tonight. Even as a vamp, she still had some semblance of modesty from her former life. Still, she had thus far been amused by the antics of Pam and was eager to see how far that her maker would go without crossing the line of legality. As much trouble as he could be and could cause, he at least was a stickler for the rules of the bar, lest anyone get him into trouble. It was the last thing he wanted to deal with, after all.

Meanwhile, Pam had entered the office, closing the door behind her as she he was slipping into the ensemble she had taken great pains to select for him to wear for this one time show. It was certainly not leaving much to the imagination and it was certainly not like he was modest, ashamed to show off. But she was amused by the look on his face, a confused, almost bewildered expression as he stepped out, clad in something that left little to the imagination.

"Not that I have ever had issues showing off….and I know this will certainly be….profitable…..but…" he looked down at his outfit and then back up at a smirking Pam. "I hope you aren't planning on sending a photo to Sookie…she is at work and I would prefer not to have her co workers seeing this."

"Aw….come on, you don't think you make a good Tarzan?" Pam said as she looked him up and down. "Wish you would go with the long locks, though." she noted the wig hanging over the sliding changing panel she had brought him to change behind.

"It looks like something killed in the road on my head and besides, do you really expect me to-" he stopped as she blurred past him and grabbed the very realistic looking hair piece, a dirty blonde, wavy number that fell just pas his shoulders and with impressively fast work, she managed to perfectly affix it securely to his head, all the while he gaped at her for her brazenness. Not that he didn't know how she was but at least he had hoped for her to relent here. It seemed that this was a battle he had lost….to a woman. He had seemed to be losing more and more of them lately to the women in his life and it begged the question-had he truly grown soft….too much so? Not that he minded, not really. Not with his better side having afforded him to have what he never thought he would have in his life. Love, a family and actually being happy. Content. Still, it was fun to share playful banter and little tiffs with Pam, especially.

"You've always been quite the beautician but this does nothing for me." he grumbled as she made him look in the full length mirror she had brought in, allowing him to see the new but thankfully for him, temporary look. There he stood, clad in what he knew was a real fur poncho and a loin cloth that didn't bother him much, save for the fact it was certainly not fashionable here in the year 2017. He certainly preferred his jeans and leather but he was willing to try anything to make a few extra bucks, not that they needed it, not since they had sold off New Blood to the Japanese who had lost much thanks to the mess with the tainted True Blood. It was all really out of fun Pam had wanted to do this and had to give him credit for going along with it. She knew he loved being the center of attention and as such, would do this. She also knew he wouldn't allow for any hanky panky to occur with any of the women that would inevitable throw themselves at him.

"Take the wrap of slowly….the crowd out there is gonna expect a show and to get their money's worth you know. And the lights are way down, just to forewarn you before you take the stage. Magic Mike ain't gonna have nothing on you."

He furrowed his brow in confusion at her reverence and after she explained, he had to laugh. "I didn't think those kinds of movies tickled your fancy."

"I can have my fancy tickled whatever way I happen to be in the mood in, you of all people should know that." she replied with a smirk as she appraised her almost runway ready star. "Let me get the crowd all ready and hot for you, not that they need to be all that worked up. Already were when they stepped through the door."

He nodded as she left him in the room, wondering just why he was actually going through with this. Pacing back and forth, his feet bare and feeling strangely at home in the clothes-semblance of clothes, rather-he was soon signaled to start his entrance.

Back behind the thick red curtain, he could sense the crowd beyond and heard voices that were familiar but with the music and the other things going on-mostly the thoughts racing through his head, Eric was having trouble focusing on that which seemed strangely familiar. And was making him feel almost anxious, nervous. A rare thing indeed. And as he hear Pam introduce him he emerged, nearly tripping on the set that had been installed in lieu of his much more preferred throne and empty space around it. There was fake, yet realistic looking jungle plants, trees and even vines hung from the ceiling. He had to admit, Pam and whoever else helped her in this had worked fast to set things up. And he emerged from the thick tangle of plants to the shrieks and cat calls of a crowd that was large but not as large as he had expected. And feared.

It took a lot to give the ancient vampire anything close to nervousness or anxiety but he was having second thoughts about this, for what f she happened to walk in and see him in such a state of affairs? Would she get angry, would she make a scene? Or worse, would she leave the house for who knew how long, thinking the worst, that he would get too into things and have a fling with one of the desperate woman what would be at his feet? She knew the way he was on display at the bar often but this was taking it to a new level. And another troubling fact entered his mind as he managed to suck it up and strut out from the faux jungle greenery. Too late to turn back, as he was already glimpsed by the oddly small and yet raucous crowd, Eric was clearly out of his element as he threw off the fur wrap, revealing the very little he wore beneath it. He saw the crowd, smallish as it was, was all wearing masks, ranging from the simple to the simply bizarre-Homer Simpson to former presidents. The way he saw Pam trying to keep a straight face told him something about this was off.

As he stopped trying to awkwardly perform something out of some cheap stripper flick, he glowered at Pam who finally shouted. "Gotcha!" and with all the masks removed, he saw not only Willa underneath one of them, but the rest of his friends and family, the one in the closest and best seat of the house removing their mask and dark wig to reveal a very amused looking Sookie, who grinned as she took a long, hard look at that which was a couple feet above her on the dais.

"We had this idea for some time now….a good prank after all the bullcrap we've all gone through with lately and even your maker here-she nodded to the serene figure of Godric, who had worn a quite ironic vampire mask and had tossed it onto a table. "Well, he thought it would be a hoot to do this…..and believe me, if anyone else is smart, they won't reveal any of this to the outside world that this happened." Sookie looked around at the group gathered, giving them a severe look, though there was a sparkle in her eyes telling them there really was no real threat. No one would be so suicidal as to reveal this little secret prank to anyone outside this club. Holly, Arlene, Keith, Jason, Lafayette, James…everyone from their friends and family were present and as Ginger returned to her post at the bar and started taking orders, the party still raging, the crowd dissipated to help themselves to the rare treat of free booze. As she was left alone with him, Sookie climbed up on the stage with the help of her still shell-shocked looking hubby.

"Look, we thought….we thought it would be funny and I think you know on one will say anything and there was no video or photos taken….well I can't speak for myself or Pam but…come on, you have to admit it was a good prank and I think it did us all good to laugh…..and you're not exactly bashful about showing skin." she led him back to the office, his unusual silence making her fear perhaps this joke was not sitting well with him.

But as soon as the office door shut, she saw the smirk creeping over his face and she breathed a sigh of relief. "It was well done and I can honestly say I didn't see it coming….and I kind of like the way this material feels on my skin, almost as good as wearing nothing at all, which could very easily be changed." he said as he pushed her gently against the wall and grinned that devilish smile of his. But she waggled a finger at him.

"Come on, jungle boy, we have guests here and I would prefer a more private setting….when we get home, I can play your Jane and we can pretend to be in the jungle, if you want…but for now, we have a impromptu party to host and so why not hope back into your regular clothes?" she pulled out a bundle from behind his desk and threw them at him, to his bemusement.

"I will hold you to that….and just when I think nothing about you can surprise me, you come up with something as clever as this….though I have a feeling Pam helped." Sookie nodded and beamed brightly.

"Get yourself changed and the sooner we can wrap the party down, the sooner we can head home." she said as she flashed out of the room before he could touch her.

Shaking his head at the events of the evening, he knew that as devious as he himself could be, perhaps he could learn a think or two about the workings of a woman's mind. Or two of them, for that matter.

 **THE END**


End file.
